Trauma, Trauma recovery

Crying Joy

Tears flow as December sky melts into dusky greys, pinks, and Advent blue. Illuminated within window’s frame. Accompanied by bubbling pots. Air filling with dinner’s smells as soft white lights twinkle on tree, in star, from candles.

I stand in the middle of our kitchen. Stopped by resonating sounds of Pachelbel’s Canon in G Major. Since seventeen knowing every single note of this piece. Phrases allowing my thoughts and sensations space. To fall into shaking, trembling tears. Today, tears filled with joy.

This day at dusk,

~Four years and four months since we lost Tony,

~Four years and four months from when my body filled with cyclical, raging chemicals,

~Four years and four months since I vowed to Tony, God, and myself that we could and would heal,

~Four years and a few months since I began documenting our experience,

~Four years and a few months from my decision to be transparent about the pain of healing grief with trauma,

~Ten months since the last of these life or death bodily chemicals transformed fully into living,

~And in the last ten months of my seminary studies,

My dream of a sharing our story and in doing so continuing Tony’s healing work reaches fruition.

I humbly announce our journey through grief and trauma recovery becomes a forthcoming book to be published by Chalice Press.

And in celebration of healing and dreams, my literary agent Kate Sheehan Roach and I smiled and giggled our way through the contract signing! Knowing this moment, while brief, overflows with days, months, and years. Contract signing.

4 thoughts on “Crying Joy”

  1. Jennifer, we are so very excited for you and for those who will benefit from this book!
    Hearty congratulations to you, along with thanksgiving that this writing process has provided healing for you in this time since Tony’s death. Thanks be to God!!

  2. Congratulations!!!! So happy for you! xo

    On Friday, January 1, 2021, Jennifer Ohman-Rodriguez wrote:

    > Jennifer Ohman-Rodriguez posted: ” Tears flow as December sky melts into > dusky greys, pinks, and Advent blue. Illuminated within window’s frame. > Accompanied by bubbling pots. Air filling with dinner’s smells as soft > white lights twinkle on tree, in star, from candles. I stand in t” >

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s