“For they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” Mark 6:50 NRSV (similar to Matthew 14:27)
Reflection
In the aftermath of trauma, the disciples felt fear. The cross’ terror pounded through their bodies. Causing them to hide from the world. Live inside locked doors. Stay on guard. Peek out with wary eyes.
Jesus’ reassurance consoled the disciples. Settled their activated nervous systems. Gave them a sense of relief. The space to see and hear.
These words, “do not be afraid,” may also console us now. Remind us to breathe into our racing thoughts. Breathe into our protruding visions of what happened. The ones breaking into our everyday moments. Victimizing our survivorship. Directing our words and actions. In harm-filled ways.
Yet there may be days in which these words, “do not be afraid,” just hurt. Illicit curses like WTF, Jesus! And questions such as how? How can I not be troubled or worried or afraid? Jesus’ words working not as reassurances. But as platitudes. No better than “God has a plan,” or “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.” Making our whole bodies, even our toes shout into our socks and shoes, “bullshit!”
Because we are afraid. Fear brought us to this place in trauma’s afterlife. Life threatening fear still lives within us. Refusing to be calmed by four words.
Healing Practice: Take Heart
Breathe into your fear-filled heart. Just breathe into it. Allow your fears their space in your heart. Know that this action takes courage.
Picture your heart. Breathe into your troubled heart. Breathe deeper and wider. Know that this action takes compassion.
Picture those who weigh heavy on your heart. Loved ones’ suffering. Joining you on your heart. Breathe into your troubled heart. Breathe deeper and wider.
Expand your breathe until it dances with your fearing heart. Its wind weaving in, around, and out of heart’s pumping action.
Keep breathing. Allowing your breath’s wind to dance with all who are on your heart this day. Allowing your breath to bring all of you together in one big dance.
Prayer
God of troubled hearts, worried minds, and fearful bodies, show us what Jesus meant when he said, “do not be afraid.” For his disciples then. For us now. Help Jesus’ words break into our fear. Acknowledging it. Grow our compassion for self. Give us courage. Amen.
Image by Annette Meyer from Pixabay
Jennifer Ohman-Rodriguez 